A Bard and a Dwarf Walk into a bar
by Sopheryl
Summary: Leilana tracks Varric down after the events of Dragon Age 2 to ask him about an old friend. After all, Varric does have a story for everything.  Lichae Mahariel, Kaleb Hawke. M!Mahariel/Zevran, M!Hawke/Fenris.


_A/N: ..So happy holidays everyone! I haven't posted anything in awhile, and I have no excuse. This sort of wiggled it's way into my head, though. My Dalish got the ending of chasing Zevran down after Awakening...so why wouldn't he be in Kirkwall at some point? After all, look at who's there! His clan, Merril, Anders and Justice...how could be not follow his lovely Antivan to the city?_

_Anyways, unbeta'd, and here's my Kaleb Hawke to introduce to all of you. :3 Enjoy!  
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_Also, what Varric and Leilana refer to at the end is going to lead into my next fic which should be getting posted in the upcoming months!  
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><p>When a Seeker walked into the Hanged Man, Varric sighed. Honestly, he'd had his fill of them for awhile, so it was understandable that he was hesitant when she made her way right over to his table.<p>

"You are Varric Tethras, no?" The woman asked, and there was no avoiding it then.

"I am. And I've already told one of your sisters my stories of the Champion, Seeker." Varric took a drink.

"Ah, but it is not stories of the Champion that interest me. I was more interested in someone else you mentioned. A Crow. Zevran?"

"Aah, the Crow. As I said before, I told all I know about the Champion."

"Well in that case, may I join you for a drink? Perhaps I can share a story with you, as well." She smiled, and sat down before Varric could come up with a good reason to say no. She waved to the barmaid, before turning her attention to Varric. "I regret that I was not in the room to hear the story. I do love a good tale, and I think the champion's must be terribly exciting."

"Don't we all, miss...I didn't catch your name," Varric said, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.

"Aah, of course. My name is Leilana. I am, as you guessed, a Seeker." She smiled. "And of course, I am more than that."

"Leilana, Leilana...of course! You were one the companions of the Warden."

"You know much, Ser Tethras." She smiled and nodded as a drink was set down on the table. Coin was exchanged before the barmaid walked back off, and Leilana rested her hands on her mug. "Indeed I was. He was a dear friend to me, almost like a sibling, though I have not seen him in many years."

"From what I understand, no one has," Varric said, thinking back before he could stop himself. Of course, there had been that one time...

"And I find that hard to believe." She smiled. "After all, several people very dear to him were in this area for years, and I heard rumors that he'd been seen."

"Why whatver are you talking about?" Varric took a drink. Perhaps playing dumb would be best in this situation. After all, he wasn't sure what she even wanted from him.

"Now now ser," Leilana said, still smiling. "Surely you know that clan at the base of Sundermount was his home clan, and Merril knew him. And I am certain you have heard that Zevran and he were lovers. And who do you think gave Anders his cat, not to mention Justice."

"Ah, you caught me." Varric held up his hands. "I'm very well aware of all of that. You'll have to excuse me if I'm blunt, but just what are you after from here? I'll save us the time."

"I only want to know if you'd seen him." Leilana took a sip from her drink and, to her credit, didn't make a face at the piss-poor ale. "That is, if you have the energy to tell the story."

"My dear woman," Varric said, smiling. "There's always energy for one more story. I'm afraid I did see him."

"And did you tell that to Cassandra?"

"Well, it didn't seem important. He came and went, it didn't seem important given everything else going on." Varric shrugged. "Not much happened, to be honest. Zevran showed up during the battle against Meredith in the end, but he was nowhere to be found."

"I doubt he would have let Zevran go without me." Leilana smiled. "They were practically connected at the hip when I saw them last."

"Ah well, who knows?" Varric picked up his drink. "Well, I'll tell you the story if you want, but I don't think it'll help any."

"Every bit helps," Leilana said, resting her hands in her lap, and Varric managed to chuckle and drink from his mug before begining his tale.

* * *

><p>Isabela and Zevran were thick as thieves the entire trip back to Kirkwall, talking and laughing and remincing stories together. Kaleb smiled to himself, curious and thinking over the entire thing.<p>

Isabela had, as she'd said, _known_ the Hero of Ferelden, and according to Anders so had this man Zevran. In fact, Anders had recognized the Crow, making a comment along the lines that Zevran had been a source of the distraction for the Warden Commander many times at Vigils Keep and Denerim before they'd disappeared from Ferelden following some bad business in the Kocari Wilds.

"So they were lovers?" Kaleb asked, looking at Anders.

"Yes," Anders said, nodding. "Though the Commander didn't speak of it much. Among the Dalish, it's a bit frowned upon. They need children, after all, and two men can't exactly reproduce."

"Aah. So that's the kind of person the Hero of Ferelden liked..." Kaleb ran a hand through his hair.

"Correct, my dear Champion," Zevran spoke up, smiling. "As I said, it must be the accent. In fact, when we met he did tie me up, as I am sure you contemplated doing. I suppose I am lucky that we weren't fighting, or perhaps you would have wound up in my bed as well."

"I severely doubt that," Fenris said, narrowing his eyes at the Crow. "Hawke is quite happy with his own bed."

Kaleb laughed, and took Fenris' hand, giving it a squeeze before releasing it. Bare touches. He didn't want to scare Fenris off, not after he'd just gotten him back.

"Zev, we simply must drink," Isabela said. "Among other things."

"Isabela, I can think of no better way to spend the evening." Zevran grinned at the pirate.

"They couldn't have done this before at the camp," Anders said, under his breath, and Kaleb did his best to not laugh at the mage.

The rest of the walk to Kirkwall was spent listening to Zevran recounting tales of, not the Blight, but of the Hero of Ferelden. 'The Blight stories should be held off until we see Varric,' Isabela had said, 'he would hate to miss them don't you think?' As it was, the stories of the Warden were interesting, and it was amusing to think that the Warden had quirks like anyone else. It gave him a face, an image, and every now and then they would glance at Anders who would nod in confirmation or comment.

It was funny to hear about how the Warden never liked shoes or socks, and would avoid them whenever possible. Why, when they'd been getting Andraste's ashes, It had been up to Alistair and Sten to hold the Warden's arms while they put the boots on him, and then they'd had to deal with him sulking the entire way back down the mountain. Or about how the Warden hadn't understood bath tubs, and had amused the kitchen staff at the castle and keep with asking them to fill a pail of water so he could wash himself. Then there was the story about how he showed up in Denerim City proper after escaping Fort Drakon, covered with blood and had asked for some water to wash himself, as if being covered in blood was a normal sort of thing.

"And he was rather open to new adventures in bed," Isabela commented, and Zevran was about to tell some other story when Anders spoke up.

"Andraste's blood, please don't," Anders said. "There's the gate to Kirkwall, thank the Maker!"

"And it is quite a gate," Zevran said, smiling and clearly amused. "Why, that reminds me of the first time he saw Denerim..."

The Hanged Man was as welcoming as ever, but they were surprised to see Varric and Merril sitting at a table in the corner, speaking with an elf who was petting a Mabari distractedly.

"What's going on?" Kaleb asked, and flinched when Zevran let out an ear piercing whistle. The Mabari spun around, ears perking, and ran right toward them. It stopped in front of Zevran and jumped up, resting large paws on the elf's shoulders.

"Aah, Meyeh!" Zevran scratched the Mabari behind the ears. "And where is your master?"

"Zevran, that isn't-" Isabela started, staring at the dog, when the other elf at the table stood and looked at them, smiling.

"Zevran!" The elf started toward them, and Merril waved at them from her seat.

"Aah, and there is our Warden," Zevran said, laughing.

"He's here?" Kaleb looked at Zevran and Isabela, and then at the elf approaching.

"That's him," Anders said, glancing at the door. "I should-"

But it was too late, as the Hero of Ferelden had already reached them and noticed Anders immediatly.

"Anders!" He stared at the human, surprised. "You're in Kirkwall? I was worried you'd died! You were suddenly gone, and I couldn't find Ser Pounce-a-lot, and then Justice went missing-"

"What, no 'Hello Isabela'?" Isabela asked, before Anders could interupt the Warden himself.

The Warden laughed. "I'm sorry! Hello Isabela. Did you and Zevran catch up?"

"Not as much as I would have liked," Isabela said, looking at the Crow as the Mabari drooled all over his armor. "He insisted we get back to Kirkwall, and I can see why." She looked back at him and the corner of her mouth twitched into a smile. "You know, this short hair suits you. And at least you don't look like a girl anymore."

"A necessity. And I never looked like a girl." The Warden touched his hair briefly then looked at Kaleb. "You must be the Hawke. Merril speaks fondly of you, as does Kirkwall. Thank you for taking care of my clansmate. Allow me to introduce myself!" He bowed. "My name is Lichae Mahariel. Please call me Lichae. And this is Meyeh!" He gestured at the Mabari, who had finally left Zevran to sit at his master's feet.

"I remember seeing you at the camp, now," Kaleb said, surprised almost. He'd seen the elf on his way out of the camp, along with that other Warden and the recruits. He'd found the bi-colored eyes odd, and he'd never seen an elf that wasn't a servant or worse. That elf had carried himself with a weary sort of confidence, and Kaleb could recognize the stance now, though the weariness seemed different. And there was the tattoos, of course. Only Dalish had tattoos like that.

"I'm afraid I can't say the same. You humans still all seemed the same, back then." Lichae nodded, then looked back as Varric called to them.

"Hawke! Sit down and stop holding up the Warden! There are still stories to hear!"

Lichae laughed, looking at Zevran. "This Dwarf is unlike any I've ever met! Emma'lath, I was just getting to the part where we got to Orzammar, and Shale was pleased that there weren't any birds around."

"Aah, so it's just getting good! Well then my dear Warden, we should not keep them waiting." Zevran gently steered Lichae back to the table, resting a hand between his shoulders. Isabela followed.

"Do you want to listen in?" Kaleb asked, looking at Fenris.

"Well, I suppose it could be interesting." Fenris looked up at Kaleb. "Besides, we should hear it from his mouth before Varric adds in the extra ogres and three hordes of Darkspawn, with the Warden facing them all down alone."

Kaleb laughed. "That was a pretty good impression, but you forgot about the high dragon."

* * *

><p>"So he <em>was<em> here." Leilana tucked a bit of hair behind her ear.

"He was." Varric shrugged. "I must say, if I hadn't heard those stories from the Warden's mouth I never would have believed them. For the one that defeated the Blight, he seems quite down to earth."

"He never did lose that." Leilana smiled. "He told us many times, 'we did it together. We should all be heroes, not just I.' I am not sure he enjoyed the attention. I must say, though, that out of all of us he was the best suited for it. Was that all that happened?"

"Oh, well, he did stick around a few days. He spend some time with Merril, and with his clan on the mountain. Quite heartwarming, really. We didn't see much of that, of course. Family business and all. Not our place." Varric took another drink. "He even sat down with Anders and spoke with him. Whatever they spoke about, I don't think it was good. . Now then, Seeker, I have a question."

"I I can answer it, I will." Leilana nodded.

"I know that the Dalish in Ferelden were given their own land after the Blight, and I've heard a few stories...were things really as bad as they were?"

Leilana frowned, and it seemed out of place on her pretty little face. "That was...very unfortunate. Lichae did not speak of it?"

"I asked about it and he went quiet and said something about needing to see Merril. That was the last I heard of him, besides the note he sent Hawke. Of course we saw him a few times in the town, but with all that was going on, you understand that we couldn't really say anything."

"Troubled times..." Leilana sighed. "What happened to the Dalish was...I do not know all the details."

"Just thought I'd ask. Well then, Seeker, I'm sure you have some tales of the Warden he negelected to inform us of. Care to share?"

Leilana smiled. "I think I could come up with something."


End file.
